English you moron..;P
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish...........................................49
Adventurous................................Slept with all your friends
Athletic..........................................No boobs
Average looking..........................Ugly
Beautiful.......................................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile......................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure....................On medication
Feminist.......................................Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first...........................Former slut
Fun...............................................Annoying
Gentle..........................................Dull
New Age......................................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded.............................Desperate
Outgoing......................................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................................Sloppy drunk
Poet..............................................Depressive
Professional...............................Bitch
Romantic.....................................Frigid
Voluptuous.................................Very Fat
Large frame................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate......................Stalker
Widow........................................Murderer
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire,
with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside. (muahhahaha..)
